How to have the perfect wedding!!!

So its finally happened!  When you first discovered, "It's a girl!"  you thought about the future she would have, and no matter what you say, at some point, you thought about her wedding day.  Now, you have news of the engagement and the many lists and cogs of your mind start to form...

the rings? what will they look like and who will carry them down the aisle?

Who else  will be in the wedding party?

What colours?

Where will the ceremony and reception be?  

Who will preside over the wedding?

Which music will be played for the various parts of the ceremony?  You can't play "Here comes the Bride" for the whole thing?

Who will play the music during the ceremony? Are they any good?  Any special music?

What dates will they choose?  How will that work for the key guests?

O yes, the list of guests to invite... can elderly guests come to the wedding?

the wedding shower...games and a funny bow hat- and food and who to invite?

and the fears the Stag can raise... offset with a stagette??  That will be fun!

and where do guests sit for maximum fun and minimal disturbance?  You know, Auntie B doesn't speak to Cousin C, and A can't BELIEVE the bride invited B!

the cake...who will make it?  Will it be to eat or not to eat- a separate cake for eating and one to look pretty? what kind of cake for eating? White Chocolate, butter cream... o my and where will it go once it gets to the hall and who will take it to the hall and can they get in???

and the DRESS!!! O yes- get ready for the DRESS!!  Search, look, try on, cry...

and the Veil and the Tiara and the shoes and the hand-bag and the shoes for later, when your feet hurt!  And the special jewellery

And the garter!!

what will the bridesmaids, flower girl and groomsmen, ring bearer wear? Top hats and tails, day suits, morning suits, Cummerbunds and caveats? Suspenders, vests, handkerchiefs? Rented fancy shoes, that hopefully don't spell HELP? Blue jeans and cowboy boots? Beach wear? Diving Gear? My goodness, what will the PARENTS of the bride and groom wear?  A white suit for Grandpa??? NO this is the BRIDE's day to wear white- ( If she chooses to, right honey?)

what food? salads, main course, dessert, appetizers, veggies...style of potatoes, served or buffet style, hot or cold food- Head table gets served no matter what- the bride should finally be able to relax!!

what drink and how to keep Uncle So and So from getting too sauced and embarrassing everyone? Open bar, cash bar tickets...

the music or any entertainment? first dance, wedding party dance, parents dance...something for everyone for the first while then on to music that make you want to party as the older people head out for night...

the vehicles and chauffeur? Borrowed older or special cars or rented ones, and who will go in which vehicle? Cleaned and polished- allowed to be decorated or not?  Signs attached or not? And who will drive home those who shouldn't drive after the reception?

the hall decorating!when can you bring things and what will they allow? No  tape no pins - Oh how will we make these things stay up!!! and the table centre pieces and the table clothes and chair covers, and the walls, and the bathrooms decorated and stocked...and do we have to take this all down tonight or tomorrow or will it be done?

And an Arch- I love an arch!!  Decorated how??  Rented or bought? what to do with it afterwards if you buy it?  

And champagne glasses for the head table!

the midnight lunch!  how much and what and who will set this out and clean it up and what about any left overs?

the gift opening-what time, for which people and the funny bow hat again!  Food for the masses... 

and the HAIR!!! hours of doing hair!!!  from Great-grandma to mothers, from bride to tiny babies, everyone must have their hair AND MAKE-UP done, o and NAILS too- and a pedicure!!

And the FLOWERS!  the flowers MUST be perfect!  and the corsages and boutineers for every member of everything!!

And pew bows! And flowers for the front of the church, and ushers to seat people and carry things from the church to the reception

and Photographs- choose a photographer, select your location(s), then plan your shots out in advance, time of day, lighting, positions of everyone, it will save time on the day of the wedding and make sure your photographer has an assistant to note all the planned details for each shot to set them up the same way again on your Special Day!!

A Trousseau!  this is a good thing for a maid of Honour to do with the Bride to be... O yes- Who will be the Best Man and Maid of Honour?  Do they have to get along?

Babysitters and a corner for the kids that your friends have, to play in, so the parents can enjoy the wedding when the kids start to get tired

And registering for gifts- you MUST include the groom in this- REALLY! silverware, glassware, dinnerware, china, towels, sheets, colours, textures, small appliances, power tools, camping gear...  its amazing what and WHERE you can register! A hundred more decisions on top of all the other little details you are working on

And getting a deal on a block of hotel rooms  for your guest to book if they so choose

and a Guest Book and someone to sit at the Guest Registry table... and a basket or mailbox for the wedding cards

and anything that is an odd-ball family wedding tradition, like dancing, or smoking cigars, or shots, with the bride for cash, or pinning money on the dress or hockey stick, or hiding money... make sure you have a spot for that

Ah yes- the MC- who will be the MC that keeps the reception on track???  Are they funny- it helps!  They need everyone's names you want mentioned and which toasts and out of town guests and when to announce various dances...

And who will say Grace at your wedding?  the person that presided at the ceremony or a special family member?

And these are the things I can think of quickly!!!  There is SO much that goes into a wedding i would recommend setting up a binder with a section for each area of the wedding and having your list of details for each part of that with a quick page to jot down ideas as you think of them.  That way, when someone asks you a question, you may have some answers, and you can even look like you care about someone's suggestion by jotting it down on that sheet of paper, but chose not to use the idea later.

Truly, the most important thing you can do is sit down and try to figure out a budget and what will be paid for, and by who.  If you buy a bit all the way along it is easier, as in so much per payday, but some things just have to be paid out in a lump sum at the very end- and that can't be avoided.  Weddings are expensive, and your budget will help determine everything from the number of guests you invite to the location of the wedding and everything thaat goes with it.  The goal is to have fun, and not regret the debt.

This is a link to an excellent planning resource

Remember, no matter what happens, at the end of the day, words will be spoken, rings exchanged and you, your friend, or your little girl, or boy,  will be married!!!  The rest may go a bit to the left or the right, a few things may be forgotten or fall down, but we must all keep our focus on the bride and groom, and the smiles they have that day.  Remember, the rest is just stuff that would be nice to have go right!!

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